Sunday, October 5, 2008

What if...





Well, Zac insisted (or strongly encouraged) that I do this blog. I kept resisting because I am never sure what to say or how to say it. I want to sound witty but not goofy, intelligent but not "hoity-toity"--get the picture. I'm in a predicament. So, I guess I just start typing...

My time at home is quickly coming to an end and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I love spending time with Addilyn and am not ready to turn her over to someone else during the day. All the what ifs run through my mind (and I hate what ifs)...what if she cries, what if she won't eat, what if she rolls over, what if she speaks her first words (she is just that intelligent), what if, what if, what if...the list goes on in my mind. But I am ready to get back into my classroom. I feel like I don't know my students because I only spent the first two weeks of school with them. To be honest I can't remember some of their names--I hope they still have their name tags on their desks. I do love being in the classroom and having a schedule to my day. So, I decided to talk to Addilyn about this the other day. I was going to tell her that when Mommy has to go back to school she will be staying with Rose who will do a great job and will take great care of her, but as soon as I said I'm going to leave you with Rose I started to cry. I'm a wreck...I'm going to be a mess the first week I have to go back to school. I guess I won't be wearing make-up that week. The kids will get to see the "real" Mrs. Doyle. I am going to be a plain-faced, grumpy ol' teacher that week. Let's all pray that those kids are extra good--for their own benefit!! Do you see my dillema?

Anyway, on to better notes. Addilyn is starting to smile and respond to us more. It is really exciting to have her look at you and smile and then "ooooo." I can see why every woman says she loves being a mother. And Zac is such a wonderful daddy--you can tell he loves his new role as Dad. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband that loves me and his daughter and takes such good care of us! He and Addilyn are wonderful blessings in my life!

There ya go, my first blog entry on this page. I hope all that read weren't bored out of their minds thinking, "When is Zac coming back?"

3 comments:

tracyp said...

Man are you on a high horse! ;-p. I feel for you.. just think less dirty diapers to change! And when you're at home Zac may feel so bad for you that he'll change them (this never worked with might but here's to hoping!). She is so adorable with such a huge cute smile on her face! I also love new family Christmas photo... Good luck with the transition.

Michelle C said...

No it was great. I loved reading what you were thinking. That has to be so hard for you Amanda!! I hope it goes okay for you and Addilyn will be just fine, it's just so hard to be away. Good luck! She's so cute. I have enjoyed looking at your blog. Your husband was probably thinking "Who is this Michelle leaving comments?!"

nyn said...

Your little sweet angel is adorable. I am glad that you are posting here and I found you. Good luck going back to work. I know you will adjust great and she will do wonderfully. I hope we can get together sometime if you are out this way again. Love you,
Carolyn